Talking About Friendships with Guest Kid Co-host, Elena!

Friendships from The Minds of Two 8 Year Olds

This week we talk all about Friendships, from the perspective of not one but 2 eight year olds! Joined by our good friend and first kid guest host Elena! Together we answer: How do we make friends and keep them in this new world? How does tech and communication play a role in maintaining friendships? What makes a good friend and what happens when a good friend, turns bad? 

Tune in with your kids and see what they have to share on these same points. We'd love to hear from you, what do you look for in a friend? Reach out and let us know, and be featured on the show!

Transcription:
0:00] Hey, everybody, It's me, Cyla, And I'm here today with my friend Elena.

Hi, everybody. Today we're talking about friendships.

Yes, Cyla, Today we're talking about friendship. Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast.

Hey, friends, Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast. We're your hosts.

Rachel Lee Hoffman and I'm style of race Hoffman, where mama daughter duo that works together, plays together and tries to figure out this crazy world together.

Yeah, Mom.

And we're super grateful You could join us today. This is the she sounds like me podcast.

She-sounds-like-me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast.

Whoa! Hold up, Mom.

Before we get this party started, we got to let them know the goods First Friends, if you like what you hear, subscribe to this podcast on your chosen platform.

Give us a five star review or join our conversation online she sounds like me on the socials and she sounds like me dot com. Okay, mom.

[1:12] Now let's get to it. Let's get to it.

All right, Cyla, here we go. 

Hi friends today. We're talking about friends, and this is the first time we've ever had a kid on our podcast. This is Elena.

Hi, everyone. I'm new to the podcast, and I am Cyla's Friend.

Yes, you are. And we're so glad to have you, Elena.

So we thought it would be fun to talk about friendships because I think as eight year olds, you guys are both starting to figure out that friendship is so much more than liking someone.

Well, yeah, but it's also so much more than who your parents linked up with.

Those are some conversations that silent I've been having for a long time up until now.

[1:59] Your friends have mostly consisted of people you make sort of made me link up with.

Well, it was convenient, right? So, like, I'm friends with certain parents and they've got kids your age. And so naturally you guys are together, But more and more as you find out who you are as a kid and as a young girl, you figure out what makes a good friend to you.

Alina, are you experiencing the same thing where you're kind of realizing now that you're in different schools and you're in camps that your friends are taking shape in a different way?

Yeah, I feel that same emotion you do.

[2:37] And so what? How are you meeting friends now? As opposed to how you used to make friends.

I make friends by my other friends, introducing their friends to me.

Do you have different friends depending on where you go and hang out?

Yeah, I do. So you have certain friends at school and on the bus in the classroom?

Yeah, One way I make friends is by going somewhere and saying hi to someone or asking someone's name or playing with them or joining a game of tag or something like that.

So just like, naturally, electrically mix friend Bonds.

I know it's so cool. I think when you're eight years old and you're young, it's easy to just run up and join a game of tag. But that gets harder, right? And so silent. You brought up a good point on one way to approach and make new friends.

Elena. How do you make new friends? I make new friends by going somewhere that I know and other people might be there.

And then I just have no one to play with, and I asked someone's name and then we automatically become friends.

[3:53] Yeah, it's like the electric bond. It's like the first word you say to someone, Bond.

So what's a good first thing to say to someone high and introduce yourself to someone?

Yeah, that's right. And sometimes it's kind of hard to remember that that simple thing of just saying Hi, I'm so and so right or Hey, what's your name?

Another good way to make a new friend is to give a compliment.

Oh, I like your shoes. I like to address. Yeah, I love your hair style and or what game are you playing?

That looks really fun, right? So there's some kind of ice breaker conversation starters that also help us bridge the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time.

Especially when you're just you know, you're not put together by your parents or by a sport or something like that.

I feel like it's easier to make a bond with someone when you're not like being forced to be friends with them.

For both of you, it's been a hard year to keep friendships. Yeah,

you're gon like it's like one minute you're there and you're talking and the next minute smoke bomb, you're gone well is that because Covid has made it challenging to really find connection.

[5:07] Yeah, yeah, because of covid. We can't,

be with our friends as much because we could probably get sick because people spread their germs out by being friends like my doing friend.

Things like shaking hands and talking to each other.

So there's been some distance in friendships because of this last year in Covid.

[5:32] I think what we're experiencing at Silas School is because of covid. There's no recess.

There's no extracurricular activities where they can really bond and play.

You have to wear a mask all day, right? Which is hard to see. Someone smile right and you can't share.

You can't share the friendships. You can't share the love. Why is covid 19 a thing?

[5:53] If I could, I'd be cursing. No. So how has it been hard for you to maintain your friendship, Selena?

I haven't been bonding with anybody since covid because of covid.

I haven't been seen my friends at all Some, but yeah, like normally we'd be making more friends and be keeping those bonds moving like the flow of a river.

[6:21] And but now we can't have playdates, and we can't do all those things, and it's a river has frozen.

Oh, wow. That's a good analogy. Side. Yeah. So you had a lot of your friends,

um kind of only meet through, like, zoom and Facebook messenger and, like, facetime virtual playdates like, do you enjoy those or at least getting some satisfaction from that?

I'm not very enjoying them because sometimes it glitches and it takes a person away from the meeting, and just being a person is easier.

It's not like Internet can control you when you're in person with some other people.

What are you able to do any gaming with friends on the Internet, even when they're not in person?

Like, do you ever do shared games or anything like that can do share games but and you can send messages to each other while you're playing the game.

[7:22] But you don't get to see each other while you're playing the game, right? So you're missing out on that connection.

I sort of feel like Zoom and online is worse than being away from France.

[7:37] It, like, breaks the bond. So you're like you're fidgeting with something and off on the computer, like Lari Lari to not even paying attention.

So I feel like you don't even like it would be the same. Just not talking to someone, because nobody's paying attention on any of those things.

They're just messing with everything else. So now that things are slowly starting to come back to normal, what are some things you're most excited about to do with your friends?

Now that summer's here and more play dates are happening and we can be more outside and be more together, we can really see each other more and not have to be on zoom calls.

We wouldn't have to fidget around with things I love to like have sleepovers because every day is you have no school.

But you do have camps. Yeah, you could have camps, but you could probably see,

your friends at the camps and you're surprised after their Yeah.

And now you get to have a good time with your friends again.

Yeah. So it's going to be a real restorative summer, I think. Yeah.

Right now, me and Elena or having a sleepover. I know. Isn't it fun? Recorded podcast at the sleepover.

The work is never done, kid. Uh huh.

[8:59] Alina and Silo. I bet you guys are going to make a lot of friends or some shared camps you're doing this summer, which is super fun. And for the first time ever, we're going to sleep away. Camp. Yes. You're going to sleep away, Camp together.

Are you excited for that? We're very excited.

We cannot wait for this summer. How is that going to impact your friendship at sleep away camp?

It's going to make us have a more time to spend with each other.

Will have things that we love to do Longer bonds, campfires.

But then also, like we've talked about, there'll be so many options that some things you like to do together and some things I would like to do apart, And that's totally cool, right? Yeah.

And also opportunities to make new friends at all these places.

[9:50] Now what happens, though? Have you ever spent too much time with a friend?

Yeah. And what happens then?

What are some of the feelings that you have when you're like you're you're kind of bored of trying to do everything, being with your friend and doing all the stuff you need to do. Like, kind of.

It feels like you've been out free and you have been free. And now you've been free too long and you came across fire.

So it can be sometimes being friends, really good friends and spending too much time together is also intense, would you say?

And for different reasons, can we easily get annoyed or bothered or.

[10:38] Tired of playing that person's way. Things like that.

Yeah, And that can be hard to. I think that's going to be a major problem coming towards the end of this liberal camp.

You think? How will you deal with it? Just take a break. Go away from that other person.

Do something else for a change. Yeah, it's okay to take a break.

[10:59] So tell me this. What makes a good friend being kind and respectful to others and help the people in need of things share?

Take turns generous, giving, being good, friend. It's not bullying someone.

Be responsible. Trust trustworthy.

Honest is one big one. I would totally agree with that.

So that's what makes a good friend. What are some things that you look for in a friend?

Someone kind and respectful to you and.

[11:42] Someone that takes care of your stuff and make keeps promises like love and kindness trustworthy.

Some of these funny, smart friends, they make good choices. Yeah.

Yeah. And they look out for you, right? Right. So what's on the other side of that?

What are some things that make someone not really a great friend telling you to do something that is completely wrong. Like kick someone or hit someone or drink soda when you're not allowed to write, Write anything from you.

[12:15] Bullying and lying. Yeah, those are big. No, nos. Right. They make you feel hurt. Yeah. They make you feel like tears.

It makes me feel just very frustrating when people lie to me and bully me.

But I have to stand up for myself to make things right. Chin up, breathe.

Walk away. Right. Those are some great tips. What do you do when somebody is bullying you or is making you frustrated and asking you to do something? That's not right? You guys have any tips?

Just report to a teacher or parent.

I think Walk away or breathe or tell someone. No, I'm not going to do that.

[13:01] Stop bullying me and ignore them. Ignore them. They'll go away away,

what happens when that's really hard to do because maybe a good friend is not being so good.

Then it's easy to do that. Those steps right when you when you're not really friends with someone and they're bullying you. But what happens when they're friends with you and they're suddenly not being cool?

Then what do you do? Because I would imagine, at least in my situations I've been in, like I don't want to hurt the friendship, right? Me neither.

But you know what's wrong? So what do you do then? Report to a teacher apparent that if they're not being cool or nice to you, you got a report or find something else to do?

Just say, Hey, you're not being very nice.

[13:55] Come play with me later. One year, well, down a little bit.

That's a really great tips because sometimes it's hard to kind of tell on a friend when you're not sure if what they're doing is wrong. But it definitely makes you feel uncomfortable.

Yeah, right. And so sometimes you have to like you, said Elena, You have to stand up for yourself.

What are some other ways we stand up for ourselves a friend might help you stand up for yourself and have confidence You have confidence, right?

And how can they do that? They can maybe literally stand by your side or hold your hand.

Or maybe you could talk to them on the side first.

So what are some ways you would stand up for someone's Isla? Um, like if someone was black or brown and someone was bullying them, I'd be like, Hey, you're not being cool.

Just because he or she has a different colour Skin doesn't mean you get to bully her, right? But it's not just about skin tone, is it?

Sometimes sometimes there are friends that are getting picked on for reasons that we can't see.

Right, Right. And you're right. Racism is definitely something you stand up for, whether your your friend or not.

If you see that happening, you see something you say something but friends that may not appear to be.

Maybe you two are together at camp, right?

[15:19] Mm hmm. And somebody is picking on one of you.

What do you do? What do you How do you stand up for that person?

Go to that person and say something to the bully like, Hey, that's not cool.

You got to stop that right now. Yeah, like I'm not a very brutal person.

And I don't want to be a brutal person, but I'd be like, Get away!

[15:46] This is my friend. Stop bullying her.

[15:50] Get away! Please get very firm.

[15:55] Maybe use your words or another way is just to get with your friend and walk away, right?

And when squeeze them tight and I'll give them a hug and say it's going to be all right, can be alright, you're okay and do something different.

So that's what makes a good friend. And we've talked about what makes a not so good friend.

How can we continue to keep our friendships bonding more you like?

Keep secrets and make sure everything safe for your friend get No, boys can be around them because, like,

friends are most important to as family,

keep in touch. Talk data Lee.

Give hugs, play swim, check in on them.

What would be some good things to share? Like you could share art or make crafts together Or send them a care package?

Maybe write them a letter, makes scary stories or funny stories.

Send skiffs, which are like mini movies, little emoji, little messages and stuff to brighten their day.

Yeah, yeah, you guys are using tech a lot right now.

How do you maintain your friendship through tech?

How can that be helpful to keep your friendship going right in their day by some happy song or something that makes them feel love to.

[17:21] A cute text or a game to play or something fun like that.

We just had this conversation the other day about when we're now.

We're on face time with each other, and sometimes when you're 789 years old and you're not really used to talking on the phone, what are some good ways that we can help each other communicate and continue the conversation.

[17:46] And on on face time or phone calls with friends, you can text with another person and send a message.

And continue that conversation on like texting with each other or ask questions.

Give answers, give compliments, ask what you're doing. How is your day?

You know, I think sometimes when you're young, we forget how to greet someone on the phone or hang up with someone on a call.

I've heard some kid calls that just are like, Okay, uh, emoji, emoji, but like no real context.

And so sometimes we talk a lot about having considerate conversations and asking our friends what they've been up to, how their summer is going.

What else is happening in their world? It's a great way to show interest and show somebody that you care.

Well, you girls have really given some great explanations of how to be a good friend what it takes to be a good friend.

And I think you're pretty good friends with each other. Definitely.

[19:00] So this summer, I will be excited to see how your friendship continues to grow with you can't.

And when as we get back to normal and get back to doing school and hopefully all the usual things that your kids are accustomed to doing friendship and makes you feel love.

Yeah, I feel like without friends, you wouldn't be.

You wouldn't be happy. Mm, yes, that's really important. To pick wisely, right?

Choose good friends because I think also friends can really influence your behavior to Do you ever notice when you're hanging out with someone, you start to pick up on somebody else's little tweaks and little mannerisms.

There's their style or where their accents or their behavior good and bad.

[19:47] Mm, Didn't you say so? It's important to choose. Good friends.

Choose wisely. Yeah, well, thanks for joining us today, Alina, to talk about friendships.

It's just really nice having you totally nice to have a friend in the studio with us.

Now, next week, we're taking a break spring break, and we will take one week off of the show so that we can enjoy some down time and come back when we're episodes. After that, if you'd like to know more about what's going on in our world, check us out on social.

We're on our website she sounds like me dot com.

[20:19] Yep. And we'll see you after our weekly break. I hope you guys all enjoy a fun and wonderful spring.

We'll see you next time. See you next time. Bye bye.