Belonging

Where do you best BeloNG?

Belonging is a weird thing. What does it mean to actually belong? How does it make you feel when you do, when you don't and when you are somewhere stuck in between? 

In today's episode, we talk about it all. Share instances where we didn't feel like we belonged and what to do about it. We also take the time to read Kevin Carroll's A Kids Book About Belonging. Join us and belong to our tribe at www.shesoundslikeme.com

Transcription:
Hello. How are you doing today? How are you doing today?

[1:10] And hyper, I can tell. Perfect. Time to record a podcast.
You can tell. This is the girl who just ate two Oreos. Gluten free Oreos.
Exactly what a score. They finally came out with those things. So yeah. And next up is pop Tarts.
I hope for your sake, for childhood memories sake, but for health sake, not so much.
But still I want to go in free pop Tart. Well that's not what we're talking.
No, today we're talking about belonging belonging which is kind of a subject we've been talking a bit about here at the house.

[1:52] It's a spin off of the conversation we've been having with friends and friendships and how difficult it's been in a covid conscious year to make and keep friends and find your place, especially as a little girl.
And I don't mean a little girl, but as a big kid, there's a growing girl is like a Tween.
Right? Are you between? No, you're not. I'm an eight year old.
Twins are 10, 11 and 12. Okay, that's right. That's like in the double digits but not quite 13 14, 15, 16, 17.
So how would you define yourself as an eight year old between? No, I mean sometimes I think you're like 16.
I roll. Seriously? It's a great question. I didn't even think to ask before.
What do you consider yourself? Um Actually don't really know.

[2:48] You're like in the middle age before your Tween age, elementary age, but you're not a little kid, Elementary age goes up until your Tween.
Are you a big kid? I mean when it comes to sizes you're in the big kids size?
Well perfect segue because belonging you don't even know what to call your age group as far as where to belong in classifying ages, right?
I think there should be like, like a mix between little kid, not little kid, not big kid, not Tween, but like cocker spaniel what?
That's a dog breed, wow, no more cookies before podcast,
Okay, alright, well today we're going to read a little bit about belonging and it's of course by our friends at a kids book about This book is written by,
kevin Carroll, who you may remember.
Silalahi was a super charismatic guy that I believe,
Eva interviewed during a kids book about Oh yeah,
and he wrote the book about a ball Yeah, the best selling author of Rules of the red,
rubber ball we didn't get and we probably should because it sounded like he had a lot of great life lessons for little kids, big kids tweens and grown ups,
and also cocker spaniels.

[4:15] I think the only thing that Congress spaniel would like about that is chasing the red rubber ball.
Our staff is would like that anyway. So today we're going to read the book because it's been a minute since we've read a kids book about on the show.

[4:30] It's something that we love to share because as storytellers and brand champions for the team at a kids book about we just love what they're doing and,
if you haven't already, check out a kids podcast about they have launched uh their own podcast now and we're huge fans of that as well and they're in development with some other really interesting creative content.
So if you haven't already checked them out, if you're a podcast listener and you are, if you're hearing this right now.

[4:58] But also they've got a whole new series of small board books for little hands and they're developing a whole slew really rich and informative content for kids.
It's called a little book about like for little kids.
Okay, yeah, a little book about little book that a little book about.
So today we're going to take turns silent I reading to you Kevin Carrolls, a kids book about belonging belonging and then I'd like to hear from you silo about how you feel about belonging Once we write a little bit from Kevin,
and of course, as they always say, it's better together, this book is best red with a grown up and a kid right now.
Check in with yourself, see how your belonging in the world, so okay. Yeah.
Ask each other if you're listening with your grown up or your kids, do you feel like you belong?
Sometimes I don't sometimes I feel totally out of whack and ridiculously out of place in this way I feel like a unicorn in a field of horses or the other way around or horse and to feel the unicorns.
You my dear are the former.
That means you're the first thing you said. You're a unicorn in the field of horses.
I agree with that. Or buy you a butterfly in a field of popular.

[6:21] Yes, A butterfly in a field of caterpillars or moths Vermont's, but I think moths are equally beautiful and so our horses, I sometimes different.
I sometimes feel like a butterfly in a field of caterpillars because I'm like, I'm more of one of the more mature kids that I know.
Oh yeah, so you feel like you've emerged from the puppies from celeste.

[6:49] From the chrysalis and all the other caterpillars are like swaggy, slug idi or hyper ball caterpillar, You never cease to amaze me.
Alright, let's begin enough about the caterpillars.

[7:06] Hey, you Yes, you the one reading this book.
Okay. In our case the people listening to this podcast, that's all of us.
Yeah. Have you ever felt like you don't belong? Like you don't fit in or that other people don't get you?
Yes, Yeah. All the time, I sometimes don't get anybody else in this world.

[7:30] Well, this is a kids book about belonging I'm going to tell you what it means to belong and what it feels like when you don't.
Okay, so this is you, uh, now what you're not seeing here as a listener is a little bit of a ball with a piece of string on it, but kevin says, I know it's just a circle and it probably doesn't look like you at all, but just go with me here.
You probably belong somewhere right, like a place or group or activity where you feel at home like school or team. family neighborhood, playground band or just.

[8:10] Or just Planet Earth. But what does it mean to actually belong?
Belonging is when you were a part of something, when you feel included, it also means you feel safe.
Yeah, it's huge. I feel safest when I'm in front of a bonfire roasting marshmallows like you wear this weekend.

[8:32] You do like when you're asleep in bed or when you're eating your favorite food, like smores, belonging is quite simply cool, good and wonderful.
But sometimes it feels like you don't belong like others don't want you around like you want to be anywhere else.
Like you're not safe. Like you can't be, you have you ever felt like that?
It's not cool or good were wonderful, right?
It can feel lonely, painful, unsafe, scary and sad.
Sometimes it looks like you're not getting picked up to play on the team and sometimes it's getting left out.
Other times you are invited, but you don't feel comfortable.
You might even think that you need to pretend you're somebody you're not just to belong.
I do that all the time. Really.
Let's talk about it.
And to be honest, me too.

[9:35] Or that you need to wear a mask to fit in that way.
Maybe you'll be long, right? Honestly, that will just make things worse.
Trust me because belonging is connection, support, comfort and safety.
So what should you do when you feel like you don't belong? Yes, you.

[10:00] I'm glad you asked remember that you must belong to yourself.
At first I know, I know you're wondering what in the world does that mean?
It means you must love yourself, accept yourself like yourself, appreciate yourself, care for yourself and support yourself.
I don't care about what other people think your looks don't matter because belonging starts with you when you belong to yourself, just as you are, but no faking or pretending,
you'll always belong no matter where you are, it makes it okay when you don't fit in because you know that you don't have to and when you do fit,
you know, it's because you're being you.

[10:48] So first belong to yourself and second find those people places and grown ups that you can belong to just by being you, that's it, so great.

[11:04] Now the outro of the books as belonging is so essential to our lives when you don't have a sense of belonging anywhere, it can feel like living in a world without oxygen as a grown up.
This is our chance to share a story about when we felt like we didn't belong and what we did when that happened and invite our kids in to do the same, the wonderful opportunity to start a conversation and let it not end with this book.
If you're willing to be honest and transparent and a bit vulnerable, the result will be informative, enlightening and uplifting conversations,
kids are ready and willing to learn about tough things as long as the grownups in their lives are courageous and willing to talk about them.
And that's what we're here to do. Yeah.

[11:51] Kids book about offers incredible subjects. Talking about everything from feminism to covid 19 bullying, empathy, failure,
creativity, systemic racism, gratitude and on and on and on and on.
Yeah, so check them out at a kid's book about dot com and we'll link all of their awesome information in our show notes.
So now that we've read the story, Silas, can you tell me an instance maybe when you felt like you didn't belong?
I feel like sometimes that I have to wear something cool or different or,
dress differently or looked differently or style my hair differently, but really that doesn't matter and it just makes me feel worse.
Yeah, that's really honest and vulnerable of you and I appreciate you sharing that.

[12:46] I felt the same way all growing up and you know what, that doesn't really go away when you're grown up, but we can do things to work at it. Like the book says, no, you're worth know who you are and what you're really good at.
Tell me some things you're really good at. Hurt voiceover podcasting, love kindness, friendship, although I don't really feel like I'm able to make any friends anymore.
Like I don't really have any big sister anymore.
Yeah, it's been a hard year and I really hope that you'll find your tribe.
Like we've talked about when regular school goes back and when camp kicks off, and you're able to really just make those connections among yourself.
Yeah, Like I've already befriended everybody my age in the neighborhood, but everybody else is like secretive but older, like my age.

[13:48] Mm it must be really tough to feel like you fit in and belonging especially in this,
not a little kid, not quite a teen big kid age, so not quite a labrador either, not quite a cocker spaniel right?
But and like I have some big sisters but then they just disappear and it's hard as girls grow and you build these friendships and some get older and move on to things that are of different interests to them, you know?
You'll see it's kind of like you trying to be friends with a five year old while it's fun for a minute. That's hard to connect.
Yeah, it's hard to connect so belonging as part of finding your way with what you are interested in and what you identify with and then hopefully you find others that,
are equally interested in the same things and not quite crazy and not quite crazy,
not quite narwhal either.
I don't think anyone in this world is a Narwhal um Do you think they exist though?
Yeah. And if they do, do they eat bagels now while eating a bagel Now I'll eating a bagel, found its footing right on the oceans and I'll eating a bagel.

[15:08] And with that we will sign off until next week for another episode of she sounds like me You want to check out what we're up to on social?
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Thanks for listening and have an awesome day, untill next time.