Tech Talk - With Cindy Robinson, PT 1

How Do We Break Free From Our Screens?

How much is too much when it comes to screen time? How can grown ups set a better example for our kids?

This week's episode we are joined by Cindy Robinson for a Tech Talk to dive into the discussion about how to make better use of screen time for young kids, part 1 of 2.

Cindy is a certified parent coach and founder of The Kid Factory, a community project aimed at making cutting-edge mental health resources accessible to as many families as possible. She has become an incredible resource for us, and will be for you too.

Check out more of Cindy's work, her podcast and more helpful resources for kids and grownups - like her Smart Phone Contract, at www.thekidfactory.org!

Watch Cindy's Smartphone Contract YouTube Video here!

For another helpful resource for internet safety tips and more, as discussed in the episode, check out www.protectyoungeyes.com

Enjoy the episode!

Transcription:

[0:00] Hey, friends. We have a special guest today. Yeah, we do.
Cindy Robinson from the kid factory.
Yeah, she's a super intelligent, well rounded woman mother, educator psychologist, And she's going to talk to us about tech technology.
Welcome to our tech talk part one part one had a better and more effectively use our screens for kids.
Yeah, so let's get started. Hey, friends.
Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast. We're your hosts, Rachel Lay Hoffman and I'm Cyla Grace Hoffman were a mama daughter duo that works together please together and tries to figure out this crazy world together.
Yeah, Mom And we're super grateful You could join us today.
This is the she sounds like me podcast. She-sounds-like-me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast.
Whoa, whoa, Hold up, Mom. Before we get this party started, we got to let them know the goods. Purse.

[1:14] Friends. If you like what you hear, subscribe to this podcast on your chosen platform.
Give us a five star review or join our conversation online.
She-sounds-like-me on the socials and she sounds like me dot com. Okay, mom.
Now let's get to it. Let's get to it.
All right, Silas, here we go. Hey, everybody, We're here today with a very special guest, Cindy Robinson from the Kid factory.

[1:42] Cindy Robinson. She is a certified parent coach and founder of the Kid Factory.

[1:48] The community project aimed at making cutting edge mental health resources accessible to as many families as possible.
And she's been an excellent resource to us.
So we thought, What better person to bring on the show and have conversations with technology?
Cindy Robinson. How are you?
I'm good. I'm surviving. How are you? Were super good, rising, thriving and surviving.
That's a great way to put it. Things these days we're all surviving, aren't we?
Well, Cindy, you have so many incredible resources for parents and you've got play experiences when non covid times are happening.
Your incredibly crafty in fact, following you on instagram was the inspiration for one of style is most prized and appreciated gifts this year.
Potions, Ocean making? Yes. And you've started a new obsession in our house. I don't even know if you know that.
No decision making is awesome. Yes, Cindy had this great idea on her instagram account to create, like a Harry Potter esque potion kit for one of her for her kid.
And we made one for me, and now I have an entire closet dedicated to that.

[3:14] Two potions. I'm so jealous. I don't have a potion closet. Thanks, Cindy.
We so appreciate it.

[3:24] My mom, my mom really doesn't like it.
I don't hear any sarcasm at all in her voice. No, none at all.
It's actually totally brilliant, the creative stuff that you are able to crank out, and we're big fans of yours.
So thank you for putting that out there.
Just the other day, I made Gilly Weed out of Plato in a jar so often we'll have to take a picture and send. You are posted up on social so our friends listening can check it out, too.
And then, of course, point to your stuff because you do. You offer a lot of creative solutions for home schooling, for hands on stem and steam play, and then just incredible resources for parents as well.
And so that's one of the things we're talking about today is something that you created a cell phone contract,
for proper use of technology with our kids, and while no matter how much style of begs for a cell phone at eight years old, we're not quite there yet, But I have a super super good iPad.

[4:30] Yeah, you do have done enough. I mean, well and truly iPads can do just about as much as the cell phone can these days, and we don't have self service connected to it.
But I still gives us a whole lot of possibilities.
And with possibilities and exploration in the digital space, with technology and kids, there is risk.
Mhm. There's some some stuff to consider, some safety that we need to talk about.
And I think as parents and kids, we need to have, um, an understanding of how to properly use these pieces of technology in a way that's appropriate, safe and fair.
I agree. So, Cindy, tell us about how your cell phone contract came to be and how you applied that because you have a PdF, I believe for it or like the actual contract.
And then you have an awesome YouTube video that explains that will definitely drop that in the show notes.
But talk to us about that and how you came to, uh, to think of such an awesome resource.
Absolutely. So it began with my journey through the kid factory is to figure out why our Children are in the midst of a mental health crisis.
Over the last decade, things like anxiety and depression for kids and teens have risen about 56% So that is pretty staggering number.

[5:57] And rather than get defeated by it, I just set out to figure out why. And what can we actually do about it?
And so when you do start to explore sort of what's happening, what's happening to modern childhood, you know that that's sort of upsetting a good majority of our kids.
And you can't go down that rabbit hole without running into technology.
It's not. The cause is certainly not the sole cause, but it plays a role.

[6:22] So it became important that I informed myself on,
um, the world of technology for kids and teens and as part of that realizing all the ways that it can be used in a beautiful way and also the ways that it can kind of get a little dangerous and a little tricky for kids.

[6:40] So the contract just came out of the information I gathered that helps.

[6:46] Parents make commitments around technology as well as the kids, um, in a way that actually addresses all of the main issues with technology.
It's not all bad. I'm not like an anti tech mom, but I do think that we have to encourage our kids to use it for good and then the ways that it can be dangerous for them. Make sure that we're kind of there to help mitigate that.
Yeah, and I love how you really show both sides of setting an example, which is something that we have a hard time here navigating for sure, and we definitely have some questions about that.

[7:21] The other thing is, I think that so much of the conversation is mostly around cell phones and technology.
Is the teen or Tween years, but we're often overlooking where it starts, and it starts with the first device that they have.
So really speaking specifically in this conversation about your age zyla and how that applies and affects you, right to use the iPad for school Skyla?
Um, sometimes. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you have a computer tour? Is that ipad enough to get your scored its iPad slash computer.
Okay, It's an iPad into a computer case so you can flip it around and like the keyboard.
Yeah. Okay. Keyboard.

[8:09] Silent. Would you say you were? I want to say hooked, but you really love being on your iPad.
Why do you love it? I honestly have no idea.

[8:23] That's interesting in itself. What do you What do you like to do on your iPad?
We call it zoning in this house. Which is kind of the crux of the problem there, Cindy.
I'm sure you would agree. Okay, but speak specifically about that silo. Like, what types of things do you like to do on the iPad?
Okay, so my dad has games on his phone that we play all the time together, and I eventually got to like those games.
So now I like those games and they're on my ipad.
Then I found zoning, which is like watching TV on your iPad, which is YouTube. YouTube.
Basically right. And you like to watch crafting videos and Lego build videos and little clips of shows that I can actually find on my actual T V.
And then there's some games that are educational, asthma, monster math, math games, dual lingo. You're learning Spanish.

[9:27] Can you speak about those a little bit? So, like, my math games are like math, educational.
And so it was Osmo and dual lingo, because their educational and some games are just like pointless games, just kind of mindless.

[9:47] Absolutely. It's hard, too, because as a hybrid home school, she's often left to her device to research different topics or have to check in with her teacher,
and their zoom calls.
And there's, um, you even take some of your classes online and you take some of your coaching like your voice lessons and ukulele lessons through Zoom so often times you know, as a working mom.
She's left to her own devices, quite literally.
And with that comes some free range.
And so, um, I think just trying to be ahead of that without knowing the information that you provided.
We put some some screen limits and time limits and tracking on your device, and we had some conversations about it together, and I think we had a pretty good understanding.
But your contract really brought to life some things that were that we hadn't thought of, right?
So let's ask, send you some questions about how that.

[10:56] Starts to play out in the household silent. You've got a couple of really good ones and I'll let you when you lay this one out there from the kids perspective, The sneaky mom.

[11:08] How do habits of our parents being attached to their smartphones form or model for me or the kids?
Me appropriate or inappropriate behavior? That's a very good question.
And in fact, um, you're right. Modeling is where we start when we talk to families about healthy tech use for their kids.
Um, and if you follow, um, protect young eyes is a wonderful organization to help parents with that.
I think it's protect young eyes dot org or dot com. I always forget, but if you Google protect young eyes, you'll find it.

[11:52] That's a wonderful resource for families, too, to take that on. But modeling is number one.
So, um, if you're wondering if your parents should follow pretty much all of the rules that you have, the answer is yes.
Um, you know, they swallowed.
It is literally attached to your vice all day.
Yeah, well, And people, I mean to to not shame anyone, kids or adults.
People are paid millions of dollars to their whole job is to make you want to use your device all day, every day. So you're really being manipulated in a way that, um, it's not really your fault.
These things are designed for you to be on them, because the more you're on them, the more money a lot of people make.

[12:40] So it's supposed to be addictive. For all of us.
It's a challenge for all of us. But I think that it is important that we can't tell our Children one thing and do another, just like with everything else how parenting goes.

[12:54] And so Yeah, you're right, Silo. It starts with modeling, and your parents should do the things that they would like you to do. So it's perfectly OK for you to say, Hey, if you want me to put this away at night, you're gonna put yours away at night.
Or if you don't want me to have this out of the dinner table or at a restaurant, Does that mean that you're not going to look at your phone while we're at the restaurant?
That's okay to say. Yeah, well, thank you for that.
Uh, sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to say that I'm going to get in trouble.
Yeah, and but we do have an open and honest conversation about this.
Often it does get tricky because, as you all know, Cindy, as as an entrepreneur, when you run your own business or,
even just these days when you're working, mom or working parent and you've got to keep your one eye on work and one eye on your kid because we're on such an upside down,
world right now that it's hard to multitask and do that well, but yet still create boundaries and.

[13:58] And be present with the device around when we're still with our kids and when they need our attention, and they are the most important thing for sure.
But it is it's habit forming, and I like and appreciate that you said, You know, there's no shame in that nudge, nudge, wink, wink sai who's Who does,
you know, vocalized that I am on my phone a lot, and it's a real habit that I'm working on trying to break.

[14:27] In fact, you already touched on it screen use in the bedroom.
You talk about why that we'll tell us really why it's it's harmful for kids at night to have devices in the bedroom for and fairly for all of us, because that's something we're working on as a family next.
Yeah, I mean, it is dangerous for all of us. Um, the US adults who have fully formed and developed brains. We at least can make a little more rational decisions about how we use our tech at night.
Hopefully not always, but but it's still not great for us, but then, with kids in particular, because they're at the age where information consumption is at an all time high.
They're actually learning more rapidly and are able to absorb information. And they're learning about how the world works and all these exciting things are happening in their brain is really taking and creating patterns for the first time that will last the rest of their lives.
It's a very exciting time for their brain, Um.

[15:25] But because of that, we want to make sure that the content that they are taking in and creating patterns with is healthy content and, unfortunately, just any type of isolated situation.
Um, night is particularly bad because not only are they isolated and so they kind of have, you know, no holds barred access to the content on the Internet but also sleep so important again the brain is growing.
And when is it doing its most growth? And putting everything that they learned that day, where it belongs is when they sleep.
And so when you have a device in your room, you're probably not going to be sleeping as much.
And if you're not sleeping as much, your brain isn't getting the chance to process all the information that it's taking in.
I think I heard once that you're when you're, you know, looking at your phone at night, your brain is,
really turbo charged for all the content it's trying to consume and the light and then that really it prevents your brain from shutting down,
and getting into like a deep sleep efficiently,
that's right.

[16:27] Playing a dirty little trick on your brain, for sure.
But it's not healthy, for, you know, your young mind is really what Cindy is saying.
Your young mind is so much more is in the developmental stage. And so it's really important that you shut down your brain efficiently, which is why we try to limit that TV time or screen time right before bed.
You're actually supposed to shut off your device an hour before you sleep.
Is that what you heard? You can't. You're not supposed to look on your advice or check your device or look at bright lights an hour before you sleep.
Cindy the expert Is there any?
She's wrong? I'd say at least 30 minutes. At least Give yourself 30 minutes and hours. What's recommended, you know, just like there are lots of wonderful recommendations that feel unattainable to a lot of people.
So I shortened that to 30 minutes because you're still going to get the majority of the benefits of doing something else before you prepare for bed.
Um, my my preferences reading,
Um, but whatever it is that you're doing, if it's screen free, even if you can just do 30 minutes, you're going to see a lot of benefits.
Awesome. That's really helpful.

[17:36] So what is an appropriate screen limit time per day or per week for kids around Silas age?

[17:45] I actually don't have any set numbers because every family varies.
So um, particularly during the pandemic, I'm not going to show up in the midst of a pandemic and tell parents Here's how much your job should be on screens and make everyone feel horrible.
So for me, it's not so much about the the number of how many hours as it is.
What is that time taking away from and trying to find a balance.
So a good idea, especially right now, can be a third, a third, a third.
So maybe a third of their time as screen related for school, because right now a lot of it is, or learning they could be watching a documentary or some sort of educational consumption.

[18:31] Um, a third could be, you know, playing those mindless games zoning, as you call it, Um, and then a third should be real life, you know, going outside and playing, baking in the kitchen, making crafts, doing art, whatever it is that you're doing.
So I think if you're keeping all of that stuff balanced, which just means, you know, having your indulgent screen time.

[18:54] Using screens in a way that is learning and healthy and then not being on screens.
I think you're going to be okay if that's sort of the balance you're looking for.
That sounds fair.
Yes, all right. Well, Cindy, that's super helpful because I think parents have probably seen many thought leaders in tech and parenting spaces preach a certain number of hours.
And somewhere along the line, I've decided that, Oh, you know, this is bad.
And it's back to that shaming thing when, really, I think having some grace and some flexibility, especially right now like you mentioned, is key for all of us.
Um, we talked about in our family about having like, 30 minute tickets, Yeah, tickets where we would have,
six hours a week and get your ticket would have a certain number of minutes, like 15 2010, 30 minutes on them.
But the but all those tickets added up to six hours a week, so I would use one of those tickets every time I really wanted to zone.
And once they were gone, they were gone, and I wouldn't get them back until the next week.
Yeah, like and set like a timer, which is just another way for her to kind of manually.

[20:14] Um, see or physically see the time and how we're using it and eating it because we have those permissions set,
on the device or certain restrictions on apps and certain certain apps are different than others where there is a maximum usage a week.
But it's hard for her to see or like, understand how that is going to be used.
And we thought, like maybe tickets that she could redeem would be a helpful way for her to monetize her time and trade it out when it was fair and appropriate.
We haven't put that into play yet, but just trying to explore different ways to use this in a healthy way. So I really appreciate your feedback in that way.
Yeah, I think it's honestly great. Whatever your family comes up with, the fact that you're just making this a conversation in your home and this is a priority to you,
um, you can find on Pinterest and everywhere a million different ways of managing how it looks for your family.
Some kids are going to be more addicted and have a little bit bigger struggle.
But I think the goal right now, I just don't want to be the one who comes in and gives a really overwhelming task for some families of managing.
It's just if they could be paying attention to it and at least have some sort of healthy balance, then they're doing their job.
Um, but how that manifests what that looks like is totally up to each family.
Yeah, that's pretty fair. Thank you.

[21:38] Wow, I really learned so much already.
And Cindy Robinson? She knows what's up. Doesn't she especially like the part where nobody is going to be shamed for their use?
But we can all do what works for us, especially in these times, for a screen time and and being gentle on each other about it? Definitely.
I'm sure you like the sound of that. Yeah, I really do.
So join us next time on Part two of Tech talk with Cindy Robinson.

[22:13] I can't wait to continue this conversation. I wonder where it will go next?
Totally. So join us next week on another episode of she sounds like me. And be sure to check out the show notes for helpful links that Cindy mentions in our conversation.
And to follow us along on social media or on our website and to send us some feedback we'd love to hear from you some listener responses about how you're enjoying the show.
So thanks for joining us. Thanks for joining us and have an awesome day. Have an awesome day. See you next time.