Major Meltdown - Part 2

Feel, Heal, Deal: Major Meltdown Part 2

Back with part two of the Major Meltdown episode and Cyla kicks it off with a surprise Mama Meditation too good not to share. She also goes into more detail on the monster emotions going on inside, when negative energy is taking over. A process she calls Feel, Heal, Deal. 

Brace yourself for some big ideas from this little co-host on the second part of this touching conversation.
Part 2 of 2. 

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Massive thanks to the awesome friends that lent their voices to our vision at the top of each episode.  Kelley Buttrick, Jill Perry, Nicole & Lila Britton, Trevor Johns, Caroline Slaughter, Tiffany Morgan, Cassie & Sabrina Glow ++ Jason Shablik & Van Gunter for their audio genius - we adore you all! 

For more information on the show, questions, comments, to share good vibes happening in your world or to request Cyla or Rachael as the Voice for your next message - drop us a line at hello@shesoundslikeme.com or share your voice with us and leave us a message at (678) 653-4110. 

For additional samples of our voice over work and more at www.layahoffman.com and www.cylagrace.com. 

She Sounds Like Me is produced by Creative Catalyst Media, LLC. A business built by a Mama on a mission to help raise the voices of powerful women and girls. We thank you for your support!

In Gratitude,

Rachael Laya & Cyla Grace Hoffman

Transcription:
[0:01] Hey mom, I know you're under a lot of stress lately and I wanted to just make you feel relaxed, so if you would like to follow along with me, you can breathe in.

[0:15] And breathe out, breathe in and bring it out Mhm you can even do the balloon exercise if you want.
I love you so much and I just want you to feel calm and safe.

[0:34] If you need to, you can do this multiple times, it will make you feel better, I promise, I love you so much, Bye wow,
I had to share that with your friends because it was one of my more proud moments as a mom.

[0:50] I saw that that voice recording file,
on my desktop in my studio after I had a recent meltdown, she got crafty and recorded it when I wasn't around and to know that the work that we do as moms as parents,
actually resonates with our kids and when they turn around.

[1:15] Tell it to you and guide you through what they've learned,
it's the best part of parenting right, so I share that with you because Silo drops some more incredible knowledge on her process of managing a major meltdown,
in this week's episode part two, major meltdown, feel deal he'll,
it's coming up now and thanks for listening, Hey friends, welcome to the she sounds like me podcast we're your hosts, Rachel lee Hoffman and I'm Silas, Grace Hoffman.

[1:48] Where a mom and daughter duo that works together plays together and tries to figure out this crazy world together Yeah,
mom and we're super grateful you could join us today, this is the she sounds like me podcast she sounds like me,
she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me.

[2:12] Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast whoa, whoa hold up mom, before we get this party started we got to let them know the goods first,
friends if you like what you hear, subscribe to this podcast on your chosen platform, give us a five star review or join our conversation online.
She sounds like me on the socials and she sounds like me dot com.
Okay mom, now let's get to it, let's get to it.
Alright, Silas, here we go, something that happens when you are in peak, that's concerning to me that we've talked about before is the negative self talk.
I don't know where that came from for you because we don't do that here. In fact we talk a lot about self love and talking positively positive affirmations, gratitude et cetera.
So as your mom sitting downstairs hearing like you know these really sad things that you're saying to yourself about yourself, it's heartbreaking, I know.

[3:19] And I don't know why I say them because they're not true things so how can we shift the narrative to make it less negative about you and maybe,
just call out the words that you're feeling.

[3:37] Or feeling about the situation instead of like, I'm the worst, I should be melting down by now.
Can you say more like, this situation is the worst, right?
We can definitely say that.
I could have like a list on my wall of things scream out when I'm having a meltdown.
You could you could have a meltdown guide. Should we make that?
Yes, we should make that as soon as you're done.

[4:05] What types of things would you say on the meltdown guide?
I'd say like a step by step, process of how to deal with meltdown and then a list of things to yell out when you're at the peak of meltdown.
Okay, so what would be some of those things that you would say? I would say like this situation is the worst. I don't want to be in this situation. I'm gonna throw a pillow with my wall.
I'm freaking out right now, but I can get it over with.
I never wanted to eat brussel sprouts ever. I love brussels sprouts, actually like the only child in the world testament to mom's cooking. Yeah.
Jeez, I can't with cheese and bacon.
Um All right, Well, that that makes good sense to me and I hope that we can continue to talk about that and maybe I can gently remind you when,
that's happening, that, you know, maybe we deserve more love than that and we don't need to talk to ourselves like that because,
remember we've talked about this, the more you talk negatively to yourself, the more you're going to think that the more you believe it, right, right?
Instead of frost, the sprouts, maybe I never wanted to eat that ham. Roll up. You also love ham. Roll ups.

[5:31] Not when they have bad hand though. Okay, so the point is negative self talk.
Well, did you two negative self thinking a negative self esteem and you know, uh negative outlook on life. And so that's a slippery slope.
Like I said earlier, it's okay to exert any emotion that you're having, especially in the safety and the comfort of your home.
So long as you're not hurting yourself or others, or property of, you know, of ours, you're not damaging anything, but you could be damaging yourself with your words.
So we gotta keep an eye on that, right? It's really just like the easiest thing like blinking to go down that slope.
Yeah. You like you slip slip right down, right? You're trying to go down the let's calm down and let's,
just yell out things, random things that are going on for the world around you and not and your step down that and then up to slip on us and you go down the other one, right?
So we got to look out for each other. Maybe we can have a code word because I know you don't want to be told. Nobody wants to be told what to do when they're in meltdown mode, But maybe I need to be like chicken nugget, okay, chicken nugget.

[6:51] Okay. And that's like code for talk kindly to yourself.
Yeah, okay. I'm gonna try to remember that, you have to remind me.
Um well stink in my head on the meltdowns guide, chicken nugget, right? Like code for mom.
Okay, cool. What if you have one? What if, what if you have the mom version and I'll have the kid version?
Yeah, mine will be like margarita, just give me food, you'll be like mom margarita and I'll be like, uh huh.
Anyways, so this is an interesting conversation that I want to keep coming back to.
Um but I think we kind of figured out a cool way to talk about this process. Right, right.
How did we say it always said feeling feel deal, He'll feel deal, he'll.

[7:56] And what is feeling, what is the field stage of the meltdown, Feeling how you want to be feeling, recognizing how you're feeling?
The deal part is how are you dealing with your situation right now?
Are you freaking out? Are you going to go flip on the ground? Are you going to wrap yourself in your rug?

[8:16] Right, you're gonna scream into your pillows, what are you gonna do? And then the healing part is how are you going to fix this?
I mean, how are you going to help yourself get rid of this situation? How are you going to recover?
So how did you recover last night when it came down to it?
I recovered by just like, I ended up actually starting to read a picture book.
I don't know if I, but I just saw it on the floor and I'm like, oh I'll read that kind of farming and I did one or two of the stickers on my paint by sticker book.
So something calming like art that was just neutral reading. It's just neutral. Take your mind off easy. That's not frustrated and I was going to get even more mad because you can't do it right.
And then you took a bath I think kind of calmed you energetically.

[9:10] Definitely you ate something even though I don't want to you know that sometimes it's the angry monster that's really like the first in charge.
Yeah that guy, he's the leader. He definitely,
like flips freak out switch, angry and tidy tied, tired, tired e tidy, tidy, craggy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy are in charge, sleepy and angry are in charge.
They are first in command of flipping the freak out switch, flip flip flick out.
Let's go freak out. Which is why your parents and the people that love you are like, hey eat something.
Right? Well kids are like, you can't tell us what to do. We're and breakout stage, we do whatever we want and breakout stage.
It's in some extent.

[10:03] So those are some really good tips, you know as,
people that love you as your parents, dad and I were listening to you completely lose your mind last night,
and he wanted to keep going in and save you and he wanted to talk it out on the couch and he wanted to give you a huggy and,
he wanted to feed you and you wanted to do all these things and at some point I was able to recognize it's very hard when you're a parent in the middle of this because your heart is just being pulled in a million directions, simultaneously.
Getting more and more frustrated and annoyed with your kid. Let me tell you in a loving way. Okay.
But he wanted to come in and fix it because that's what we want to do. We don't want to see our kids hurt,
I was recognizing some signs that you were giving that were like back up, give me space even though you didn't know how to say it at the time.
And so I asked dad to give you some space and he did for a few minutes and your meltdown continued for quite a while. So he came hours.
Yeah, 25 seconds. So he came back to you and kept checking in on you.
And at some point I reminded him when you were a kid and we were sleep training you.

[11:19] Which some parents, well parents deal with in all different ways, but one technique is a cry it out technique,
and while that's not exactly everybody's favorite because it hurts like crazy, it's how kids can learn how to self soothe,
some kids have other techniques and some parents do, but when we let you cry it out, when you were about 68 months old or something like that.

[11:49] It took everything in my power to not go in there and save you.
I was staring at you on the baby monitor, my heart was breaking in a million pieces and I just wanted to go in and save you. But you know what we've set a timer and the five minutes you were freaking out and crying at the top of your lungs. It felt like an eternity.
Yeah, but dad and I stayed held our ground and we let you cry it out and you figured out how to self soothe yourself when you woke up in the middle of the night and you were having a freak out.

[12:19] And you learned how to calm yourself and get back to sleep and then you slept through the night for pretty much the rest of your life.
So there's something to applying that to your behavior now that I feel like we all need to kind of respect and move towards definitely sometimes not all the time, right,
but last night I decided I was just going to let you cry it out.

[12:47] I came down to the studio thankfully it's soundproof.
That's a huge park in this place. Are you kidding me? I could come down here and here. Nothing.
Everybody can be freaking out upstairs and it's like my little bomb shelter hideout. I can't hear anybody going crazy out there, this is perfect.
And you came down about an hour later and give me a big hug and you had figured out how to soothe yourself and get right, I'm very proud of you for that.
Give me a hug. Give me a hug e walk to you, I love you too. Thank you.
All of this is wildly helpful for both of us, for me as a grown up to remember how to deal with myself and you teach me so much in your process and you as a kid,
because this freak outs will get bigger and crazier and your hormones are going to start to bonk around and change and.

[13:44] All of this, but you're doing an excellent job of learning how to moderate your energy when it comes to a major meltdowns thank you.
Now if you could just have a few less of them a week, that'd be great please.
So no, can do buckaroo. I know it's asking a lot um and I'm here for you whenever you do have them, you know,
so we learned that we identify this as feel feel deal,
and here's your mega meltdowns Yeah.

[14:24] Well thanks for sharing all that side And then we went a little deeper than usual today.

[14:31] You're a superstar, thanks for sharing that, I hope that that helps somebody else out.
Yeah, and before we leave let's get to the shout out a shout out to Amber and live part hem yes,
our friends uh Amber is a fellow voice actor and her and her daughter live listen to the show, so thanks for that and um yeah we appreciate your support fellow videos one day you're going to get,
live on the mic and we're gonna be right there to support you for sure, who else do we have our next shout out goes to Shannon and lily, granite telly, yes, lily and Shannon, we love you girl, thanks for being such,
big supporters of ours, so until next time friends uh take care, take care, no, meltdowns Remember feel deal and here,
and go easy on your grown ups, no reason on your kids, we'll do our best, have a great one, I love you, I love you too.
Okay, bye bye friends, bye.

[15:36] Alright, before we head out, a quick shout out to the awesome friends that lent their voices to our vision at the top of each episode.
She sounds like me is produced by creative catalyst, media LLC,
and as always if you like what you hear, subscribe to our tribe online and she sounds like me dot com and find us on social at she sounds like me so we can connect directly to you.
Thank you so much for your support friends till next time, take care of yourselves and each other and have an awesome day.

[16:06] Music.