Another School Shooting

Here we are AGAIN.

This episode is sensitive for some listeners as we discuss the events of the senseless school shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas.

There are no words to describe how we are all feeling on the heels of another school shooting, but no one's pain is worse than the parents that have lost their own. Our hearts go out to all those families affected by this vile and senseless act.

In today's episode, we work through what we are both feeling, how the current times shape active shooter preparedness in schools, how “hard lockdown” drills work and why, red flags on social media and how to move through and take action. For more information and a free copy of A Kids Book About School Shootings please visit www.akidsbookabout.co

To make donations, volunteer, take action and get involved in progression on gun reform, safety and support for those affected by gun violence please support www.everytown.org & www.momsdemandaction.org .
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Massive thanks to the awesome friends that lent their voices to our vision at the top of each episode.  Kelley Buttrick, Jill Perry, Nicole & Lila Britton, Trevor Johns, Caroline Slaughter, Tiffany Morgan, Cassie & Sabrina Glow ++ Jason Shablik & Van Gunter for their audio genius - we adore you all! 

For more information on the show, questions, comments, to share good vibes happening in your world or to request Cyla or Rachael as the Voice for your next message - drop us a line at hello@shesoundslikeme.com or share your voice with us and leave us a message at (678) 653-4110. 

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She Sounds Like Me is produced by Creative Catalyst Media, LLC. A business built by a Mama on a mission to help raise the voices of powerful women and girls. We thank you for your support!

In Gratitude,

Rachael Laya & Cyla Grace Hoffman

Transcript

[[0:00] Before we get started today. I want you to know that this episode is sensitive for some listeners, it's the day after the Uvalde school shooting and the last day of school for my kid, and it just was too much to bear to not say anything, it's all over the news, she's bound to hear it.

So today's episode is a conversation we should never have to have, but here we are.

So if it's not the right time for you and yours, please save this episode for another time and I hope you never ever have to go through this. Thanks for listening.

[0:43] Hey friends, welcome to the she sounds like me podcast we're your hosts, Rachel Laya Hoffman and I'm Cyla Grace.

Hoffman were a mom and daughter duo that works together, plays together and tries to figure out this crazy world together.

Yeah, mom and we're super grateful you could join us today.

This is the she sounds like me podcast she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me she sounds like me,

Welcome to the she sounds like me podcast Whoa, whoa, whoa hold up mom.

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Okay mom, now let's get to it, let's get to it.

Alright, Cyla, here we go,

Hello my love.

[1:49] You could tell my energy from the second you walked in.

Yeah. It sucked. And I can tell you were upset about something that I just quite didn't know.

[2:00] Mhm. We all are if you're a parent or Take care of kids or have any heart or soul in your body and you've seen the news over the last 24 hours. Your heart is just broken.

And I could, I could have pretended like nothing was going on and I could have said nothing. I could have I thought about it.

I told my friends to not worry that it wasn't important to tell their kids because we didn't want you to worry.

But I also know that you're smart enough in that you already know these things. And this is already part of your education is preparation for this horrific type of event.

And I didn't want you to hear from anybody else. So here we are.

Mm hmm. The day before the last day of school moms cry. And I am completely confused. Yeah.

How do you feel after hearing news like that? Well, I am completely confused.

And I I'm nervous. I am mad.

And um I feel like those people are stupid jerks.

[3:12] Yeah. Do you have any questions? Why.

[3:16] Just why would someone do that? How would someone want to do that? That's a good one. I don't know.

It doesn't make any sense to me. It's probably the most horrific thing I can think of any human doing in the world period. Hands down.

But we have a mental health crisis in this country and there is not enough support for those who need it.

And the gentleman that decided to purchase to automatic rifles and go into a school and do this type of act is not, well,

that's a very sick person.

[4:02] We've talked about bullies on the show before and how people that bully are hurting people inside. They hurt, they hurt themselves inside.

That's why they hurt other people.

This is a bully on the next level and no sense can be made of it.

It's wrong. So I know that I'm heartbroken. I know that parents are going through a sea of emotions, but I think it's important for us to understand what first feels like to a kid when you hear this news.

[4:35] Well, when I, when you first told me and you were in tears, I was completely confused because I had no clue what was going on.

I had no clue why someone would do this. I had no clue if I was supposed to be sad or not or what I was supposed to do.

And then the book, a kid's book about school shootings explained it,

And now I am freakishly mad and nervous as well because I'm nervous, even though this is like a one in a trillion billion chance of this ever happening,

it still could happen.

There's that always that 1% chance that it could happen. And if it does happen, are we prepared enough?

I mean, I know teachers and parents and adults are doing as much as they can to prepare us for it, but is it enough? No one will ever know.

And then I'm on like frustrated because someone who would do that is probably one of the, like the worst peoples on this planet and that's just wrong.

And I don't no, if I'm supposed to be nervous because I know we've all got a preparation for this as we possibly can, but I really don't know.

[6:05] Let me just say that not knowing how you feel is totally okay.

It's totally acceptable to be nervous, scared, concerned, anxious, mad, frustrated.

Or no feeling at all, or all the feelings at once.

I share that same feeling, all of them.

[6:30] We all do. You're not wrong. And let me also say that while we are doing our best to prepare for these things, it is not enough.

[6:44] There are things that people in power and decision makers, lawmakers and the people that we put in office in this country could do more.

[6:57] To help protect our people, to help protect our kids and our schools.

We could have reinforced security in schools. We could have Gun reform We could make it harder for people to get guns.

But the reality is bad people can do bad things whether we change laws or not. So we need to give them more resources to get the mental help that they need.

We need to listen when people say things that could be questionable.

Look for the red flags, look for the red flags.

We've talked before you and I about social media or when you hear things that your friends are saying and when,

those things may have a bit of concern, how do you deal with those things?

Because if they make you nervous in your belly or unsure or it seems like someone might do something wrong.

You need to tell a grown up mhm.

This Man and I'll call him a man as he was 18.

The shooter posted pictures of his assault rifles and his ammunition on social media days before,

they now say that he was in contact text messaging and gaming online with a girl in another country and told her he was going to do this.

[8:26] Now. She had never met him in person. But sometimes those online chats and those online relationships, you don't know if who you're dealing with on the other side is true or not, but that's a red flag.

So as we evolved into more of social media and online connections and we continue to have these conversations. You and I watch for the red flags.

Well, what what can someone do if they see a red flag? That's a great question.

[8:59] Like the police can't automatically like put someone in jail or arrest someone just because of the text message they said on a game.

Or can they?

No, they can't necessarily.

But there are things that local law enforcement can do.

There are things that parents can do, grownups can do that.

The FBI and federal agencies can do two quickly track people that are making online threats,

that are predators that are terrorists and they can shut them down and find their location because technology, while it can be very anonymous meaning, you don't know who really is behind it.

For the average person, there is technology out there that can find people on the back end when they have the capability and the means to do so.

And I don't know what those capabilities are and in each individual situation, but we have to believe that there's hope and that there's I don't know.

[10:14] I don't know that there's something that we can do, but doing nothing is not okay.

[10:20] And maybe if somebody would have said something, the kid that got the text or the friend that sought on social media or something, maybe that wouldn't have happened yesterday.

Maybe they could have found him and stopped him.

[10:35] So look for the red flags. Mm hmm. What else can we do to prevent this from happening?

Well, or at least help if it does happen? Do something about it.

There's a couple of things that I do that I find that are just helpful from an information perspective and that of course, you know, how important is it is to vote,

and elect people in your local office and federal office that are going to make a change and believe in the regulations for things that are important to you and your families, right?

I voted early this week for our local officials and I was able to get an early and vote for people that I believe have our best interests in mind when it comes to gun control and safety and reform and things like that.

Always always we can vote. We can also volunteer and find local organizations and national organizations that align with how we feel.

I um, contribute and donate to an organization that's called moms demand action. I'll link it in the show notes.

And actually, Amanda Gorman, one of our favorite poets.

[11:55] She has an organization called every town And both of these foundations are non profits that you can volunteer with to show up at rallies.

Two make our voices heard and help drive policy in government. That makes change.

[12:14] This is stuff to help you prevent it from happening. But what if it does happen?

What do you do if it does happen? Because there are so many things we can do to try to prevent it from happening, but if there's that one in a billion chance of it happening,

what do you do with it does well tell me this.

What's the new procedure at school? You've been learning that these last couple of years?

Well in our school specifically might be different for all schools.

[12:47] We have multiple drills. One is a fire drill, one is an earthquake, one is a tornado and one is a lockdown drill.

There's a soft lockdown and a hard lockdown.

The soft lockdown is where there's an alarm that sounds that's unique for all the drills and it sounds the teacher locks the door and you continue working in your groups silently.

Now, if there's another alarm, the hard lockdown alarm.

[13:20] You shut off the lights, you lock the door, you get against the wall, the doors on and you all stay dead silent. Dead silence.

Mhm. Funny choice of words.

[13:35] How often do you practice that, wow in the beginning of the year, we practiced it about four times in the first three weeks of school and then we started doing it once a month.

And how do the kids react when you have to do these drills? Do they just do you know that they're coming or you just do them?

Well you just do them because you don't know you're there coming. Um my principal will come on the intercom and say hey this is a hard lockdown drill,

please remain calm and she would do the same thing but say if it ever would to happen,

she would probably do the same thing and say this is a hard lockdown, this is not a drill please remain calm.

And normally when you're doing a fire drill, an earthquake drill, a tornado drill, everyone goes around screaming in their line, wailing their hands and covering their ears,

and even though they all know it's a drill but then when they do a hard lockdown drill,

everyone's like oh do we have to and then they walk to the line and just sit there babbling with their friends and they don't take it seriously at all even though they should.

[14:56] Yeah well that's an interesting perspective and I really appreciate you sharing that and I know I think I know why so we know that a fire drill was a fire drill because we run outside.

We know that a tornado drill is a tornado drill because we get in a room with no windows.

We know that an earthquake drills and an earthquake drill, but we don't know.

Until today, I didn't know at least, and probably the rest of my class didn't know how we have a hard lockdown drill, except that there could be a bear in our school.

[15:36] And no one takes that seriously. Yeah. Because bears are another harm.

That was going to be my next question. What do they tell you? A hard lockdown is for hard lock.

They tell you, Hey guys, we're doing a hard lockdown drill.

Our vice principal is going to come around and bang on your doors acting like a bear because this is, we're doing this for bear protection.

Mm hmm. Yeah, it's probably best that that's how they put it.

And it is very, very rare that it can happen.

But it's happening. It happened yesterday.

[16:14] So of course, of course when something insane like this is happening and we have no words.

The good people at a kid's book about had quickly rallied together too. Right.

A book on school shootings and they published it today.

A free e book that you can download off of their website. Nor free pdf.

If you're an educator, if you are a parent, if you or anyone that has Children that may be asking questions, I find it to be an incredibly helpful resource to just reassure our kids that all of this,

all of these emotions are okay to have.

[17:02] It's okay to ask questions. They are safe. We care, we love them and we're doing our best, but it is not enough and we need to do better.

[17:16] So call your local legislation, your state senators, your congress, people, write letters, get into action, Volunteer donate, speak out, attend rallies.

[17:30] Make sure your kids know the drill and so much more.

I'm going to leave a few helpful resources in our show notes today.

And if this is helpful to you or you have any insights to share that can help us to, we'd love to hear from you of course.

[17:49] Thank you so much. Mom, thank you. This was intending to be our last episode, but I'm not going to let us end like this.

So we're going to do, we'll come back And close out season three in a way that we know how to do with laughs and giggles and analogies from Silas.

Maybe some songs, something a little bit lighter to close out a very special season for us and we appreciate you being with us.

So thank you for listening friends and feel all the fields, all the fields and we'll talk to you next time.

Stay safe. Stay safe. Bye.